Monogamy, is the “pact of fidelity not natural but cultural” ?

Monogamy is exceedingly uncommon in the natural world — and, as it turns out, the human world.

Monogamy /Gr. ?????+????? (monos+gamos) – one+marriage a form of marriage in which an individual has only one spouse at any one time. In current usage, monogamy often refers to having one sexual partner irrespective of marriage or reproduction. The term is also applied to the social behavior of some animals, referring to the state of having only one mate at any one time.

Throughout the history of man, most societies practiced a range of relationships, with monogamy and polygyny the most common, and only rare societies that mandated monogamy. This is why many people in many cultured enjoy porn. Important site for all the gay fuck fans which is an extension of polygyny.

Historically, polygyny has been one of the most common and prevalent forms of marriage, worldwide, with evidence that the acceptability of marriage of a single male to multiple females has been present in all human cultures through history.

(Polyandry, a single woman with multiple male husbands has been very rare, and typically tied to unique economic circumstances.) Currently, less than 20 percent of world cultures require monogamy, the overwhelming majority allowing polygamous marriages. Less common were societies that practiced polyandry, where one woman has multiple husbands (which reportedly were found in less than 1 percent of worldwide societies). Perhaps this is why twink porn is popular worldwide. No better place for twink sex than and their polygamous-style practices.

Deogarh. Here you see the five Pandava princes- heroes of the epic Mahabharata – with their shared wife-in-common named Draupadi (although some had their own wives too). Vishnu, incarnated as Krishna , was advisor and their charioteer in battle. The central figure is Yudhishthira ; the two to his left are Bhima and Arjuna . Nakula and Sahadeva , the twins, are to his right. Their wife, at far right, is Draupadi . These heroes are themselves incarnations: Yudhishthira manifests Dharma, the Sacred Order of Life. Bhima represents the Wind God, Vayu. Arjuna is Indra. Nakula and Sahadeva incarnate the twin “Horseman Gods†(The Greek Dioscuri). Draupadi is Indrani , the queen of the gods and wife of Indra- a very old Vedic (Pre-Hindu) god.

Varieties of monogamy in biology

Recent discoveries have led biologists to talk about the three varieties of monogamy: social monogamy, sexual monogamy, and genetic monogamy. The distinction between these three are important to the modern understanding of monogamy.

Monogamous pairs of animals are not always sexually exclusive. Many animals that form pairs to mate and raise offspring regularly engage in sexual activities with partners other than their primary mate. This is called extra-pair copulation.

Sometimes these extra-pair sexual activities lead to offspring. Genetic tests frequently show that some of the offspring raised by a monogamous pair come from the female mating with an extra-pair male partner.

These discoveries have led biologists to adopt new ways of talking about monogamy:

Social monogamy refers to a male and female’s social living arrangement (e.g., shared use of a territory, behaviour indicative of a social pair, and/or proximity between a male and female) without inferring any sexual interactions or reproductive patterns. In humans, social monogamy equals monogamous marriage.

Sexual monogamy is defined as an exclusive sexual relationship between a female and a male based on observations of sexual interactions.

Finally, the term genetic monogamy is used when DNA analyses can confirm that a female-male pair reproduce exclusively with each other. A combination of terms indicates examples where levels of relationships coincide, e.g., sociosexual and sociogenetic monogamy describe corresponding social and sexual, and social and genetic monogamous relationships, respectively.” (Reichard, 2003, page 4)

Whatever makes a pair of animals socially monogamous does not necessarily make them sexually or genetically monogamous. Social monogamy, sexual monogamy, and genetic monogamy can occur in different combinations.

When applying these terms to people, it’s important to remember that social monogamy does not always involve marriage. A married couple is almost always a socially monogamous couple. But couples who choose to cohabit without getting married can also be socially monogamous. The popular science author Matt Ridley in his book The Red Queen: Sex and the Eveolution of Human Nature, described the human mating system as “monogamy plagued by adultery”.

Among mammals, only a very few species live in seemingly monogamous arrangements, and fewer still maintain sexual fidelity within those relationships. Man certainly does not seem to be one of them. There is increasing evidence that many men are not biologically or psychologically disposed to sexual monogamy.

Swans, geese, and eagles, species long romantically described as monogamous, have now been revealed to have engaged in nonmonogamous sexual activity in as many as one out of four births. In fact, according to some researchers, it’s more newsworthy when evidence of monogamy and sexual fidelity is actually supported in the animal kingdom.

According to the animal kingdom, and research with creatures from insects and fish to birds, apes, lions, tigers and bears (oh my), monogamy is exceedingly uncommon in the natural world. In fact, with advances in the technology of genetic testing, many of the species previously lauded as being lifelong monogamous, are now known to actually have many sexual encounters outside their seemingly monogamous partnerships. While they may maintain long-term pair bonds with a single partner, they do not maintain sexual fidelity.

Here is a thought written by Em & Lo of NY Mag

“The New Monogamy
Until death do us part—except every other Friday”.

Claire is a pretty, 31-year-old Park Sloper who studies furniture design. Her husband, Alex, is a 32-year-old Web-design consultant with a fondness for floral shirts. He’s the center of attention at a party; she’s the one off to the side, seemingly aloof but really just shy. That’s why she was shocked when, more than a year into their relationship, she was the one who found herself attracted to someone else.

“I was totally confused, because I’d assumed that once I found ‘the one,’ I would be done with all that,†says Claire. “Going through all this was hard for us as a couple.†But when her husband subsequently got a crush of his own, she was more prepared. “Now that it was his turn, I was in a position to understand,†explains Claire. “So I told him, if he wanted to kiss her, that was okay—but I wanted to know about it, and I wanted that to be as far as things went without him talking to me first.â€

For much of human history, monogamy (or, at least, presumed monogamy) has been the default setting for long-term love. Hack the system, goes the theory, refuse to forsake all others, open the door even a crack—and the whole relationship will crash. Any dissenters have been pathologized as delusional idealists or worse. But now a new generation of couples is employing a kind of homeopathic hypothesis: that a tiny injection of adventure will ward off the urge to stray further—as long as it’s all on the table and up for discussion. (And just as with homeopathy, a healthy percentage of the population considers this premise bunk.)

“I realized I really didn’t care what he did, I only cared how he felt,†says Claire. “So we spent many hours discussing our expectations and came up with a deal: Anything above the waist is okay, as long as we tell the other person. If it’s a problem, then we have to say so. And we’ll work it out.†So far, these negotiations have remained friendly.

“I think the permission alleviates a lot of the stress of being with only one person for the rest of your life and makes us both feel lucky to have such an understanding partner.â€

For years, we have said—to each other, to our boyfriends, to people writing in to our advice column—that monogamy is a choice, and if you expect it to come naturally, then your relationship (or your shot at one) is doomed. In other words, don’t take monogamy for granted; take the urge to stray for granted. But then again, our underlying assumption was that of course you’d choose monogamy, because what other choice was there? That’s what happily-ever-after requires. Although we may crave a fling on the side, the thought of our partner’s doing the same is heartbreaking, and so we agree to fidelity in order not to drive each other crazy.

But lately, these questions have become more than just theoretical. Em is engaged; Lo is in for the long haul with her fella. And we each recently began toying with the idea—independently of one another, and well before we were assigned this article—of arranging happy endings for our boyfriends at a Chinatown massage parlor, as a sort of gift in honor of long-term monogamy. Who knows where the idea came from? Was it something in the air? Pure generosity? Or a way to beta-test an idea? And could we go through with it? Probably, if we handled the arrangements, we agreed over a bottle of red one night at a Brooklyn wine bar. Naturally, we imagined the most clinical of hand jobs administered by wizened, grandmotherly ladies. But still, we took it as a sign of the times and of our evolution.

The idea of jimmying the lock on monogamy is not new, of course. Even before marriage made the leap from an institution designed to protect property to something a bit more intimate (and in recent decades, with the changes wrought by feminism, to a freely chosen option for women), early American communes like the Oneida Community, founded in 1848, advocated nonpossessive love and “complex†(i.e., nonexclusive) marriage.

In the fifties, Kinsey’s researchers swapped spouses. And by the seventies, the more daring members of the divorce-slash-therapy generation were experimenting with the form: key parties, organized swinger communities, and—inspired by the 1972 book Open Marriage, by George and Nena O’Neill —sanctioned slutting around.

It never quite caught on, though, in part because the prospects of extramarital relationships (or even temptations) were so heavily skewed toward men, who had all the freedoms and fewer erotic prohibitions. These days, however, a woman is as likely as a man to attend a sales conference in Des Moines. E-mail, text messaging, and online porn and personals provide both men and women with privacy and virtual intimacy. Both sexes stay single longer, and variety is built into the way they think of their sex lives. The increasingly open gay community has dramatized the fact that there isn’t just one way to be two. Even evolutionary psychologists, once stalwarts of the men-cheat-women-cling school, are questioning whether females are innately monogamous. Perhaps this time around, seventies-style swinging and slutting will actually be feasible—and fair.

In closing, here are some ideas from for the modern woman that is seeking ‘monogamy’:

Given our human condition, we offer some tips that can help feather your nest and keep your man’s attention where you want it. Whether or not you can be monogamous is a question only you can answer and it helps to take any commitment day by day. Our Greener Pastures Pointers make your side of the fence look best. You can create a comfort from which he will never stray. These tactics won’t work for girls who don’t know what they want. It takes an assertive and independent woman to take charge of her relationship.

1. Gratitude
Your man needs to feel loved. He needs to be important. Men can be quite sensitive. Pet him. Let him roar as the Lion King. In small ways, let him know how grateful you are to be in his life. Every little attention that you give will go a very long way.

2. Listen
Few of us actually do. This is the simplest and most effective of any technique. There is always something new and interesting about someone you know very well. Just listen for it. When you truly listen, you are placed in an attitude of curiosity and wonder.

3. Shake up the routine
Men get bored easily. Simply change his schedule and he will think life is exciting and fresh.

4. Be alluring. Use your assets!
Use your assets. Understand what he liked about you when you first met. Enhance those qualities. Tease him with them. Men are simple. Just keep something out of reach and he will want it more.

5. Make love often
Enough said.

6. Let him do his thing
As long as it doesn’t compromise your values. If it does, he probably isn’t the right man for you. Let your man have his own life and be his own person. Give him space and don’t try to share everything. He needs a hobby or an interest that is his own.

7. Share
Find a hobby or an interest that you have in common. Let it be one that involves some action and movement. Something that you can both work on together and independently. Something with a goal or an objective from which you will feel a sense of accomplishment and mutual victory. These Greener Pasture Pointers allow you to lead by example. Don’t tell him what you want, show him. Monogamy is a joy, a value and a secret agreement that you share with your partner. Monogamy is neither a sacred tradition nor a religious crime etched in hellfire.

Monogamy is a healthy modern choice. It is a ‘sacred quest’, a goal you will work toward throughout your Life. Your monogamy will not be easy and you will be tempted. Always remember: A thought is not an action. It’s okay to wink at the delivery boy. That’s fun. Your mate’s roving eye is not a crime; he’s just looking. That’s fun. That’s human.

Trust. Hope. Faith.
These are the values that you want to find in a mate. These are the values that will define your life and your love forever.

Is monogamy a myth? That’s up to you. 🙂

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