Motherhood is one of the toughest Roles on the planet !!!

My mother and I have never been close although she would disagree.

She has been that constant pain all my life and now I’m 41 and she is still making me feel terrible.

My parents divorced when I was 4 and although I saw my Dad regularly we never were close, but since he died I wished he was still here so I could tell him it wasn’t all his fault.

You see, my mother spent all my life telling me how my father was violent and only thought about himself, but over the past few years I can see why he drank and why he wanted to “strangle her“. Funny though how he never did lay a finger on her, just threatened it but stopped. That to says he was not a violent person, that he was just pushed to the limits by a woman who has to have everything her way and has no consideration of anyone else’s feelings.

I spent my life with her saying “I’ve given up everything for you“.

I’ve given up on how many men shes had over the years but none of them stayed around; just long enough for me to get to like them. I’ve since realized that half of them were married and the other half probably saw her true colours.

She has few friends as everyone seems to “turn funny” on her.

When I was growing up she never told me she loved me or was proud of me. Never cuddled me. And still today she will go on and on about her nieces and nephews achievements but continues to put me down. I can’t ever do anything right.

She moved abroad, the best thing she could have done for me until she keeps coming back and staying with me.

We always end up rowing and me never wanting to see her again.

She makes me feel uncomfortable in my own home. She does what she wants, won’t eat the same meals, will buy lettuce rather than use the ones I’ve grown organically in the garden, she speaks to my son terribly, undermines what I say, won’t listen to me, constantly tells me she needs to lose weight as shes too fat. (shes smaller than me probably a size 6; as I’m an 8 so that makes me feel hugh!)

Shes been here 10 weeks now, because she is apparently ill! (Theres always something wrong with her) so she has to have all these tests which take forever. She thought she had a brain tumor! ( last time it was cancer of the womb, that turned out in fact to be a small polyp) the CT Scan came back normal!

She will make things up in her head and play the victim, sulk for days and cause such an atmosphere in my home that makes me not want to be home. So when she said she thought she’d still be here by Christmas, I very nicely suggested that she maybe spend a bit more time at her sisters (to give us a break), she flipped and caused rows again.

I will drop my son at school in the morning and just sit in the car dreading going back to my own home.

I have 2 other children that both have special needs, one profoundly disabled and the other has aspergers; so have enough to deal with. I love my children dearly and tell them everyday and show affection to them everyday. My friends tell me I’m a brilliant mom. Then one day while I was having a natural moan about the mess the kids made and the fact I spend all my time clearing up after them, the sort of moan that all parents make about there kids from time to time. My mother caught me at a bad moment, she replies “Do you love your children (cause it doesn’t sound like it)?‘

She says she wants us to talk and sort out our difference; but, she always denies anything negative I ever say that she has said or done. It’s never her!

She phoned me from my aunts yesterday and again I’m left in tears and stressed out again.

I would really like her to go back to her own home and not come back.

 

 

A Celebration of Women

sends our blessings to this Mom with a Challenging parent relationship dynamic,

 and offers this story to the Women of our World

to COMMENT, offer your SUGGESTIONS, and guide this LOVE YOUR CHILDREN.

Motherhood is one of the toughest JOBS on the planet !!!

…  ’til death due us part.

CO-DEPENDENT NO MORE, Melodie Beattie

 

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