5 Tips to Move on After a Breakup for Women

Love, affection, attraction and several other words that comply with the idea of two people coming together are rather widely known, spread and spoken about. But something that hasn’t been spoken about so much is what happens after all these things do not work out.

Everyone wants to talk about the good part but let us be honest — the not so good part needs just as much attention.

Where love, attention and companionship can spoil you rotten, break ups and divorces can cause you immense pain. Some relationships also leave a scar deep enough to lead you into mental instability for a while.

There is no easy way around it! You have to pick yourself up and take the right steps to make things better for your own self. Sure, there will be help but most of it is going to be YOU!

Divorces and break ups are tough, but they can be dealt with.

A break up or a divorce needs to be dealt with properly, especially for women, considering the fact that their emotional quotient is scientifically proven to be higher. Apparently, they invest more, feel and therefore deserve more outlets to move on after a bad relationship!

This brings us to write and talk about ways that women can move on after a tough break up. So here’s our 5 tips to move on after a breakup for Women.

1. Accept the Loneliness and Emptiness

It is very often said that denial is the first step into accepting a reality and that fits perfectly well in the case of a break up. We understand. The feeling can be intense and make you feel like it is the end of the world — but it gets better with time as you learn to accept the parting with your loved one.

Acceptance is one of the first things a women should seek after the grieving period. It is absolutely unfair of you to yourself to grieve more than what is required of you. Sounds tough, we understand but if not yourself, then who?

Here’s a little poem by Wendy Feiereisen on the acceptance of this empty feeling that haunts your mind and soul after the end of your relationship with someone:

You don’t get over it/ you just get through it

you don’t get by it/ because you can’t get around it

it doesn’t “get better”/ it just gets different

every day…/grief puts on a new face

Grief puts on a new face but hey guess what? You get to choose what face needs to be put up! Put the right face up and remain strong and you will see a major change in the way you perceive the parting of ways!

2. Block All the Way!

Break ups more often than not leave bitter memories. These memories could be associated with music, places and even smells around you. You do not want these memories to be taking the better of you by appearing and reappearing over and over again!

Neither do you want to see your ex do activities that you probably did together. Even worse, you absolutely do not want to see your partner moving on with their lives while it might be taking you slightly longer.

Around 76% women have stalked their exes on social media. Social Media is undoubtedly a blessing but, in some cases, it is better to use cut off people completely. If you recently filed for a divorce, divorce nsw, go over all the legalities with your lawyer to make sure you get a fair deal in court.

After taking care of the legal aspects, block your ex from Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and every other platform where you might have him — remove them! Not just social media but till you have completely moved on and feel like the healing process has successfully completed, avoid meeting your ex in person too.

You don’t want to see a person who made you unhappy or caused you pain. Use the ‘block’ feature wisely!

3. Turn the Negative Thoughts into Positive

Where we do understand that our thoughts are often not in our control — there is always some part that we can control. Feel the sadness as it comes but try to divert it enough to not work its way around your decision making.

We don’t say that stop feeling bad, not at all. Feel bad. You have all the right to! However, at the same time make sure that it isn’t hurtful enough for you to ruin some potential and very positive aspects of your personality. There will be negative thoughts and it is for you to try and counter these thoughts.

Channel your energy elsewhere, put your anger into working out and try to make yourself the best version of you. If it is too much pressure on you, you can always take professional help from therapists or consult friends and family into making things better.

Make sure all the energy that is being generated is used toward positive changes in your life. Do not let a heartbreak be the reason you stop trusting the opposite gender, use that heartbreak as an experience to think more before you make a big decision.

Stay in control and use everything that comes to haunt you as a tool into making positive changes to yourself!

Go slow and steady with these positive changes. There is no rush. Start by exercising regularly or finding a new hobby to indulge in every day. Make sure you are eating foods that stimulate you for the better. For example, fruits, vegetables and a little treat here and there. One step at a time!

4. Go Out There Again!

Routine! It is so important to try and get back to your daily activities that keep you distracted enough to not think about the complicated situation you just got out of. Keeping yourself busy can be one of the best ways to move on considering the fact that you are not thinking about that person anymore, which eventually makes everything seem normal.

There will be instances where you would miss their presence in your daily routine, but once you understand that this routine existed before they were around and it most definitely can now that they are not, things will fall into place rather smoothly!

Get up in the morning, take that hot shower, head to work and start hanging out with your friends just like you always did. Things will change. They will change for the better! You go girl!

5. Never Look Back

This is the thing that needs the most emphasis on! Miss them, feel bad, cry it out or have a rebound right after but do not call them back. The breakup happened for a reason and there is a solid reason behind why both of you chose to call it quits. Keep that reason in your mind at all times. Make sure you are around friends who keep a check on you — so you do not wander off.

Prepare a list of questions in your phone or on paper and read them out loud to yourself before deciding on whether or not you want to take that chance of calling them and bringing them back into your life!

These questions could include reasons why you broke up in the first place! Looking back would practically mean undoing all the effort that you have put into getting over that one relationship. Do you really want to? This could be our question and also you asking yourself the moment you think you might want to look back.

No closing thoughts on this one. Just going to say that NEVER look back. The decision was for you, by you, and from the both of you. Don’t try and fidget with that equation!

The Wrap Up

That’s all from us, lovely ladies. Moving on is a gift that you can utilize only if you put effort into knowing how to. Some relationships end some last, but what should remain constant for you is yourself and what makes you the happiest at the end of the day!

Thanks to Rachael Everly

Speak Your Mind

*

Copyright 2014 @ A Celebration of Women™ The World Hub for Women Leaders That Care