A Gossamer Heart’s Mending Wings Healing Practices

by Roxanne Williams

The Compliment

“She told me I was a virtuoso at surviving, an expert on abuse…

The compliment broke my bones.”

~Roxanne Williams~

Healing Soul Wounds

 

After finishing 8 years of therapy I finally overcame the PTSD, which stemmed from all manner of childhood abuse and a rape in adulthood. Finally, my therapist told me I didn’t need her anymore, I was free to go out and live a mentally healthy life. I was paying it forward at the Women’s Crisis Center as a rape counselor, finally only two classes from two degrees, my poems were getting published. I felt happier and closer to my Creator than I had ever felt in my life. And just like that…I was stricken with Multiple Sclerosis.

I couldn’t make sense of it and when I read the quote “Suffering is an option,” I had to wonder what options had been given me. The person saying this must be insane!! Or were they?

After a few years of feeling terrified, angry at the Universe and overwhelmed, I used that quote as fuel for my fire to find out the nature of suffering and what my options were.

What I found is that the clichéd quote had another part, “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” So I set out on a 20-plus-year journey researching the nature of suffering and how one can get through it. From reading copious medical and psychological resources and studying many ancient spiritual practices, I found “movement” was the key ingredient to ignite healing of soul wounds, as well as the mental effects of physical illnesses. I excavated bits and pieces from all of these teachings that I pulled together to help me find my options to suffering . From this culmination of wisdom I developed what I call, “The Mending of Wings Healing Practices.”  Of course, this Healing Practice isn’t to be taken in place of medical or psychiatric advice, but rather to work in conjunction with these sciences; the practices are actually “soul advice.”

These Practices are about movement, not achievement. The movement will take place in your weekly practices. It is my hope that the users of this practice will continue it by using it as model to work out places where they are stuck in their lives.

The Practice echoes the words of Robert Frost, “The only way around is through.” And the purpose of this practice is to help one take their focus off their suffering and move forward with their lives by a process of accepting pain and transforming it. It comes with the recognition that suffering is justas much a part of life as joy.

The Practice is detailed below.

THE THREE M’S: Meditation, Mind-training & Movement

MEDITATION: Man, I loved transcendental meditation! I was lifted so high I felt as if I could almost taste the nectar of heaven. But when I came back to earth, I found myself still walking through a cesspool of self-denigrating thoughts.

One doesn’t have to give up transcendental meditation in order to do this practice, but if one truly wants to heal oneself, Mindfulness Meditation is the most helpful way. Instead of rising above your mind-sewage, you are called to put your hip boots on and wade through it. This form of meditation is transformative, because it helps one to actually see the thoughts that are adding to their suffering.

For this practice it really doesn’t matter if you do it 10 minutes or an hour. However, I would recommend no less than 15 minutes per day, so you can get a true sense of how your mind is working.

• First getcomfortable, take three deep breaths in and out and visualize something vast, like the sky or ocean, giving one the sense of openness.
• Then begin toslowly breathe in and out, trying to keep your focus on your breath. As youbreathe let your mind flow. (Emptying the mind isn’t necessarily the goal ofthis meditation; more importantly one should pay attention to whatever thoughtsarise.)
• As thoughts ariseyou say to yourself the word “thinking,” then you let your thoughtsgo and return your focus to your breath, without struggling against thoughts.
• During the courseof the meditation, if you notice a painful thought arise, instead of pushing itaway you breathe it in fully, feeling the depths of your pain. Stay with theemotion by breathing out and breathing in for as long as possible. This teachesyou not to fear your emotions and empowers you to move through them. When youfeel you are ready to move back to the breath, think of something that wouldhelp ease this pain and exhale that wish for yourself and to the whole world. The reason for including the world in this process is to bring to mind therecognition that we all experience these types of emotions and that you are notalone.

For example:

If a moment of jealousy arises during your meditation, you breathe in this feeling of insecurity and breathe out afeeling of being secure about your abilities to perform. (If you want more indepth information on this practice you can find in a publication by PemaChodron called the Noble Heart. The reason for doing this meditation practice is to enable one to become mindful of their negativethoughts and transform them into more positive ones.)  This type of formal meditation practice will help you move into the process of “Mind-Training.”

MIND-TRAINING: The truth about the mind can be summed up in a quote by John Milton, “The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make heaven of Hell, and a hell of Heaven.” “Mind-Training,” simply put, means that you train your mind to stop those discursive thoughts and transform your thinking into a more compassionate mind-set. Mind-training is actually similar to Mindfulness Meditation; it is a practice that takes place in post-meditation. So, whenever, you find yourself in a situation that brings up strong negative emotions, you can actually stop it by taking in a breath and labeling those thoughts by using the word, “thinking.”

Let that feeling go, right on the spot, and breathe out a comforting thought, just as you did in the meditative process. I guess one could say it is sort of like counting to 10, with a twist, which will help you to respond to a situation rather than react to it. Let’s face it, the mind will think things whether we like it or not, but it is important to remember just because you think something, doesn’t make it true. You can change your mind at any time, let it go, and move on. However, be aware that, even if you may need to change your reactions to certain situations, you should never repress or deny your feelings about it. You must feel in order to heal, in order to move on.

MOVEMENT: Movement towards healing the soul is the alchemy of The Practice of Healing, because it transforms us from being stuck, or habituated in dysfunctional behaviors, into a more open life full of possibilities. Movement is an outflow of “Meditation and Mind-Training.” Movement accepts that each day comes with its own potential. There will be some days you will float through your day feeling contentment and other days you will have to put your trudge through a river of stressful situations.

Movement is a constant letting go, thereby freeing us from our self-imposed cage of limitedness, giving us the wings we need to be a limitless soul. Through this practice you will come to the recognition that nothing is as solid or as permanent as we think; life is actually more fluid, more open. As you start to move, you will realize that the main thing that is holding you back from your potential is how you perceive yourself and life in general.

Other important aspects of healing practices are daily quotes, or weekly if you choose, which help remind you what you are working towards. For working on overcoming some painful experience, you might use a quote like, “Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming,” by Helen Keller.

Write a chosen quote down and put it on your mirror or refrigerator, or on a post-it on the corner of the computer screen. I’ve never found positive affirmations much help to me, because to say things like “I’m healthy, well and relaxed” just seemed like lying to myself. However, using the wisdom of others always reminds me of what is possible. I change my quotes daily but you do it in a way that feels right for you.

Lastly, in order to create movement, weekly, non-judgmental self-reflection is imperative to the healing process. It is a way of checking in with yourself in order to see how you are progressing. It is important that you do your introspection keeping in mind that you aren’t the only one who is going through this type of pain; to know that, as you are healing yourself, you are beginning to heal the world. Therefore, you include others in this practice.

Here is a guide of how to do a non-judgmental self-reflection. I will use Self-Esteem as an example:

Now, without judgment review your week. This week I was able to look deeply at myself and find my lovability. Now breathe in how feels to be valuable and breath out the wish, “May all those who feel worthless feel the feeling of being loveable.”

Then, look at your short-falls. This week, there were times when all I could do is focus on my flaws and hate them. Breathe in your pain of self-loathing and breathe out the wish: “May all those who feel self-hatred learn to love themselves.” Feel free to use your own words in this practice.

Of course, the preceding information is the tip of the iceberg when itcomes to moving forward from pain and trauma. We are often left with residues of dysfunctions. That is why I’ve created 24 practices, that are geared to helping one move forward in their lives. I’m not going to address all of these, you can go to my website in order to pick the ones that you feel would benefit to you. However, there are certain dysfunctions that really keep us stuck and those I would like to address in this series of articles. Therefore, the next topic I would like to address is one many of us have difficulties with and that is “Setting Boundaries.”

In closing I believe that visualization is a great healer. Therefore, I have created videos for each of my practices and they will be included in my articles. As an introduction to these healing practices, I have made the video, below, to help incite you to be your own physician and begin to heal yourself.

If you would like more in depth information about these practices or my web site please visit us http://www.gossamerheart.com/.

And please remember…The only life you can save is your own.

 

Lift Me Up So That I Can Fly!

by Dragonfly Whisperer

 

The Dragonfly Whisperer
 

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