Amphy Canoza – ‘The Woman I Want To Be’


The Woman I Want To Be…..


To All Of My Friends That Are Women

She awakes each morning with a purpose to her day. There are things to be done to be useful to herself and others.She takes care with her appearance and hygiene, not because anyone else will be seeing her, but because it is what she does. It helps her feel good about herself to take care of her body, her hair, put on make-up.

She dresses as nicely possible each day whether it’s casual or dressy.She always wants to look her best.

Not for anyone else.

Just for her.

She will keep up with her surroundings, being proud that her house is tidy, her clothes and bedding are clean, everything that is hers is in the best possible shape it can be. She is able to make decisions on her own. When they are good decisions, she feels good about knowing that she did the right thing. When they are not so good, she does not beat herself up, but changes direction and goes on, knowing that no one is perfect and knowing that she has learned something from the mistake.

No kicking herself or beating herself up, ever.

She treats herself with the same love and respect that she treats others with.

She is able to support herself financially. She makes wise decisions about money, spending, credit and income. She does not need to depend on others to get through her month, or put up with daily phone calls from creditors begging to send payments she can not afford to send.

She is forgiving, caring, honest, generous, and gentle with herself. She is her own best friend. She can have fun with herself and enjoys being with her because she knows she is fun to be with. She knows how to show herself respect and provide care and support when she needs it.

She has learned to be assertive. She has learned how to say, “NO” when it is called for. She has learned not to be doormat to anyone, including her children. She does not deserve abuse from anyone. She knows how to politely refuse that treatment when it is being given.

She has many interests and loves to do projects. More importantly, she finishes the projects she starts. She is realistic and doesn’t bite off more then she can chew.

She is an active member in society, her church, with her family, friends, and other activities. Because she is so self-assured, she is well-liked and popular and invited to even more activities. Her social life is very full and she likes it like that.

She is a good friend and others come to her for advice and help. She is always eager to help her friends. And she in turn is not afraid to ask for help when she needs it, because even a confident, independent woman, needs friends to depend on once in awhile.

When a man enters into her life, it brings her great joy. She is happy to share her life with him. He does not complete her life, he compliments it. She does not “need” him to be with her, she wants to share her life with him. They will have common interests, common goals and a common belief in what commitment means. They will both know how to treat each other with respect and be able to maintain an honest relationship.

Amphy Canoza, A Celebration of Women, 2011.

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