Venus & Mars of Word Definitions, for FUN!

Definitions Male/Female

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
a. female…Any part under a car’s hood.
b. male…The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
a. female…Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
b. male…Playing any sport without a “cup.”

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
a. female…The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
b. male…Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.

4. BUTT (but) n.
a. female…The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes “look bigger.”
b. male…What you slap when someone’s scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning.

5. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n
a. female…A desire to get married and raise a family.
b. male…Not trying to pick up other women while out with one’s girlfriend.

6. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
a. female…A good movie, concert, play or book.
b. male…Anything that can be done while drinking.

7. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
a. female…An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
b. male…An endless source of entertainment, self-expression, and male bonding.

8. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
a. female…The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
b. male…Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.

9. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
a. female…A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
b. male…A device for scanning through all 175 channels every 2 1/2 minutes.

10. FOOTBALL (fut-bol) n.
a. female…An annoying 6 month long competition for a partner’s attention.
b. male…6 months off from spending time with what’s her name.

Objects (Are they male or female?)

Tire – male, because it goes bald and often is overinflated.

Sponges – female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

Hammer – male, because it hasen’t evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it’s handy to have around.

Kidneys – female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

Ziplock Bags – male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.

Web Page – female, because it is always getting hit on.

Shoe – male, because it is usually unpolished, with it’s tongue hanging out.

Remote Control – female, because it gives men pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

Swiss Army Knife – male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of it’s time just opening bottles.

Copier – female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up, it is an effective reproduction device when the right buttons are pushed, and because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.

Hot Air Balloon – male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it… and of course, there’s the hot air part.

Hourglass – female, because over time the weight shifts to the bottom.

Subway – male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

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