Change!

“NO! I Don’t Wanna!”

We use reasons to explain away why we don’t want to do something different; reasons why we don’t want to change. If we know that doing something different might help the situation, not doing something different is called “stupid.” The best reason why has never solved the problem.

Often reasons why are understandable, however what is not understandable is why we feel the need to have our lives dominated by reasons why we didn’t do something different instead of results. When we make the decision to go for results in our love relationships. . . that’s the real moment we make a decision to grow and prosper.

You are responsible for your relationship. Only you. Not your partner. Granted they must also be working on changing the way they are being in the relationship, however the notion that your partner is at fault for the way you feel, and the direction the relationship is going is absurd.

We often get so busy working on trying to fix our love partner – an impossible task, I might add – that we forget that we are responsible for only fixing ourselves.

It is the mistaken belief that you must push your love relationship in the direction you think it should go that keeps you in a strained and unhappy relationship with it. Reality has its own effortless course, and you can either embrace its way or struggle endlessly with your way.

Change is constant. Get used to it!

 

The goal of resolving conflict in a relationship is not victory or defeat. It is reaching a mutual understanding through open discussions that benefits both love partners. It requires letting go of our need to be right. Mutually solving problems brings love partners closer together. It allows for negotiation and compromise. It promotes positive momentum. It moves your relationship forward!

Copyright © 2011 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

 

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