ADVICE – The Commitment-Phobic Man

10 Ways to Spot a Commitment-Phobe

By Emily Wilcox

It’s a little known fact that behind every smart woman lurks a commitment phobic man just waiting to pull her into the depths of a fruitless relationship. Think of it as an alcoholic that really wants to quit drinking… except that the commitment phobic man does not even know he has a drinking problem.  And what is this guy addicted to?  Himself.


Here are some surefire ways to spot a Commitment-phobe:

1. The Chase. He loves the thrill of the chase, because in the beginning you weren’t really into him. But the minute you turn to face him and give him your love in return, he vanishes.

2. The Distant Servant. In the beginning, the commitment phobic man would do anything for you, including washing your car or bringing you breakfast in bed. All the while, he remained elusively distant and a bit mysterious.

3. The Cheater. This selfish guy hasn’t had a serious relationship lasting over two years, unless he was a very successful cheater. He usually has a back up or two waiting in the wings.

4. Flowers. This charmer loves the idea of romance and will gladly adorn you in your favorite tulips!

5. Love Notes. One of the commitment phobic man’s pastimes is writing little love notes. He does this because he thinks this is what a “good” man does.

6. Extracurricular Activities. This guy usually hides himself in addiction, computers, games, sports, work or other women.

7. The Fight. The commitment phobic man will generally blame you for all of the relationship woes. He loves a good fight because it gives him more reason to leave. And when the relationship is going great, he panics.

8. The Cold Shoulder. This lovebird suddenly, and without warning, becomes cold and distant. The love notes and flowers are a faint memory, and you want the guy you first met back (but remember: the guy you first met was actually a wolf, and not a sheep).

9. Sex Drive. Your once teenage-like sex life has suddenly dwindled into nothing. He no longer has any interest in the physical aspects of the relationship. This is because he knows he is leaving and cannot stomach the guilt of leading you on.

10. Strange Exit. The commitment-phobe leaves the relationship in various confusing ways. Sometimes he forces you to leave him, often he cries and tells you he is confused, or out of guilt he simply disappears like Houdini.

It’s hard to distinguish the wolf from the sheep. But keep in mind that actions always speak louder than words. And if you’ve ever fallen victim to this guy, remember that it is not personal, and his own issues of abandonment keep him from intimacy. He will do this to someone else, and you will know better than to fall into the trap again. And if you learn to love yourself fully and completely, your true knight in shining armor will sweep you off your feet, and the commitment phobic man will become a distant memory.




What are your tips for spotting a Commitment-phobe?




Copyright 2022 @ A Celebration of Women™ The World Hub for Women Leaders That Care