Relationships, ‘The First Thing to Say to a Friend in Need’

Well, that sucks.

That’s the very first place to start.
Sympathy is a healer, it coagulates the bleeding.

Well, that sucks.

It won’t drag them down if you validate their pain. It doesn’t mean you condone how they got into the pickle, or the fact that they may be bitching about the same chump after seven years, or that they done gone did it again — or any of that fairly useless judgement and assessing.

Just nod, and say, ‘Well, that sucks’.

Do not immediately tell them that:

• it’s all for the best.
• it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.
• The Uni-verse has a bigger and better plan.
• it’s better to fail now rather than later.

And for the love of The Uni-verse, do not tell them that there’s a gift in the lesson.

All those theories are true.  And they should be communicated, emphatically, repeatedly. But not quite yet.

  • Don’t leap over their pain.
  • Just see it.
  • And say you see it.
  • And go from there.

Copyright © 2012 –Danielle LaPorte.

Danielle LaPorte is the author of The Fire Starter Sessions: A Soulful + Practical Guide for Creating Success on Your Own Terms (Random House/Crown).

An inspirational speaker, former think tank exec and business strategist, she is the co-creator of Your Big Beautiful Book Plan.

Her next online program launches November 2012, called DESIRE: The Map to What You Truly Want. Over a million visitors have gone to for her straight-up advice — a site that’s been deemed “the best place on-line for kick-ass spirituality,” and was named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes. You can find her on Facebook and Twitter @daniellelaporte

Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

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