Top 10 Signs of Cyber Cheating
Is cyber-cheating wrong?In a word… YES!
“But,” you say, “it’s not cheating if there’s no touching.”
So… tell your partner that and see what they say!
The Internet is the new frontier of infidelity, and apparently it’s a confusing place because men and women don’t agree on what constitutes cyber straying. The line between being a cheat and just being cheeky has been blurred by the release of a new book, which claims that emotional infidelity is just as destructive to a relationship as physical cheating.Today, the Internet has made it much easier for people to have a cyber affair.The increasing number of people now having cyber affairs is having a negative impact on married couples. The term ‘emotional infidelity’ is used to describe cyber cheating. Emotional infidelity takes place when one person shares personal feelings and thoughts with someone in the virtual world. Now, with most homes having a computer and access to the Internet, emotional infidelity has become a serious problem as most people, especially women, feel that emotional infidelity through a cyber affair is considered cheating.
In “Emotional Infidelity: How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage and 10 Other Secrets to a Great Relationship,” author M. Gary Neuman, delves into the destructive patterns of modern day relationships, and he rubbishes the perception that it’s okay to look, as long as you don’t touch.
And, according to relationship experts, the internet is a dangerous seductress. Social networking sites like Facebook, are the biggest culprits in instigating these “emotional affairs,” or “cyber cheating.” They allow you to contact old friends, lovers or people you’ve never even met before and the seemingly innocent exchange of personal details, messages, chat and photographs, can apparently be enough to spark an intimate relationship.
In a poll conducted by womansavers.com, over 63 per cent of women felt that online emotional affairs constituted infidelity and 70 per cent of them believe that emotional affairs could lead to physical affairs.
Particularly in these hard times, a lot of conflict can exist between a couple, regularly arguing about debt, bills, child-care, and other every-day conflicts. Whether a person has any inclination to cheat or not, carrying on a conflict-free conversation with someone with whom you have no ties can be far more attractive than conversing with someone that lives with you in the real world.
It might sound a bit harsh to describe a harmless chat with a member of the opposite sex (or the same sex, if that’s your bag) as cheating, but Neuman maintains that, “when you start to invest your emotional energy in opposite-sex friends – instead of focusing on your spouse – you are being unfaithful to your marriage”.
The internet allows you to live out your fantasies. You can do and say what you are afraid to do and say in real face-to-face encounters. Sending sexually suggestive photographs and engaging in sexually inappropriate conversations is cheating in my opinion. This sort of behavior can destroy your relationship. Cyber-cheating is a gateway drug. It can lead to other things. Deceptively going behind your partner’s back to send and receive sexually arousing photographs and taking part in sexually inappropriate conversations qualifies as cheating. Pathetically promiscuous actions online is wrong.
To me, the best way to deal with suspicions of infidelity – online or off – is to talk with your partner about it. If you don’t have communication in your relationship – the ability to approach each other openly, honestly, and safely then talk about concerns and issues like these – then you probably don’t have much of a foundation for a “healthy” relationship to begin with. If your partner is cyber-cheating, there’s obviously a problem with the marriage or relationship. I suggest that you get help.
Trust is the very foundation of a healthy love relationship. Consent and concealment are at the core of the issue of cyber-cheating; and at the core of matters of consent and concealment is a fundamental matter of trust. Couples need to spend more time “together.” If you devote what little free time you do have to cyber flirting, what’s left for your partner?
When it comes right down to it – anything that you do online that you would not want your partner to find out is wrong. Call it whatever you want… it’s wrong! The bottom line, if you are flirting with someone online behind your partner’s back, you are being deceptive. If you are honest about your online hanky-panky, and your partner is uncomfortable, insecure or outright hurt by it, maybe you should stop.
Although it may seem harmless, flirting via e-mail and online messaging can be very destructive to a relationship. It can be considered a betrayal. The very fact that a partner feels the need to have regular contact with someone else in an enticing manner is totally inappropriate.
The defining question is this: Would you want your partner to know?
If you are concerned that your partner is having a cyber affair, the following is a list of the top 10 signs he or she may be having a cyber affair:
1. Change in Sleep Patterns: Cyber cheaters will spend a lot of time at night or early in the morning online. They go online during these times as their partner will be sleeping. As well, on the weekends they may text more often due to free weekend cell phone rates. Cyber cheaters receiving a large amount of text messages will get defensive when questioned.
2. Hiding Internet Use: Cyber cheaters will move a computer that is in an open location of the home to a more private area where the spouse cannot see the screen. They will only check their emails when their spouse cannot see what they are doing. They will want to make sure the spouse is unable to look over their shoulder.
3. Secrets and Lies: Cyber cheaters will lie about who they corresponding with via Internet and text message. They will change all of their online passwords that include their email accounts and they will refuse to disclose the new passwords. They will also destroy cell phone bills before their spouse can see it.
4. Strained Relationship: The relationship will become strained and there will be an increasing number of arguments and the guilt and shame cyber cheaters feel will make them more irritable.
5. Critical Statements: Cyber cheaters will begin to be more critical of their spouse. This can include criticizing their appearance, clothing, and how they perform tasks around the home.
6. Lack of Intimacy: Cyber cheaters will lose interest in sexual intimacy. They will come up with excuses to avoid sex.
7. Lack of Communication: Cyber cheaters will stop having meaningful conversations with their spouse. They will withdraw verbally and emotionally.
8. Physical Isolation: Cyber cheaters will spend much more time away from the home. They will come up with excuses to leave the home so they can go somewhere more private to contact the person they are having a cyber affair. They will check emails and text messages when they know their partner is not nearby.
9. Defensive Language: A cyber cheater will become very defensive when asked about such things as why they spend so much time on the computer and why they are not spending more time at home.
10. Missing Money: Many cyber cheaters will start taking extra money to buy gifts for their cyber fling. There may also be unusual charges on the credit card.
Thanks to Larry James @ CelebrateLove.com
With the ease of access and affordability of the Internet, it has become much easier to have a cyber affair. If your partner is displaying any of the above signs, don’t jump to the conclusion that he or she is having an affair. It is important to sit down and talk to each other to find out if there is a problem. A cyber affair can quickly become a physical affair so it is important to keep the lines of communication open.Robert Moment is a “throw the box away” in-demand inspirational life coach, personal growth strategist, speaker and author of the best-selling book, The Path to Emotional Healing-Be Happy Living Now.
Robert specializes in maximizing human potential by bringing out the best in individuals to help them find their purpose and live a life of true happiness and success.
Cyber Cheating = Emotional Infidelity!
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