The Calm Before The Storm    "I come home in the evening, after working hard all day I open up the mailbox, to see what I must pay. I have a cup of coffee, a cigarette I light There is a moment's pleasure, before there is a fight. The kids are in a frenzy, I can't take it anymore Your supper is in the oven, I am walking out the door.   I said no need to worry, there's no reason you should pout I didn't want to hear it, just put my dinner out.@ Anonymous Well her voice got very … [Read more...]

          " All creatures must learn to coexist. That’s why the brown bear and the field mouse can share their lives in harmony. Of course, they can’t mate or the mice would explode." - Betty White.         … [Read more...]

5 Secrets Men Keep   We all have secrets.  There are secrets we should share, like “honey, we’re in financial ruin because all our stock was invested with Bernie Madoff,” and then there are the ones that we should just let lie.    Here are five of the latter:  1. Earning money makes men feel valuable. In the recession, divorce rates have gone up. The money that was once an endless flow now has to be accounted for and watched carefully. People continue to cut back on luxury … [Read more...]

    Amy Packham   'Funny' Quotes in unusual places   So here's a little something to put a smile on your face!   In the recent shopping trips I have willingly been on I began to discover a lot of what some might call 'funny quotes' on magnets, mugs, teddys, shot glasses. It's no wonder these boring gifts which you seem to get every year seem to have come up with a new way of being sold. You read these quotes, laugh, think 'that is so true!' or 'ME TOO!' and ending … [Read more...]

      A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.   "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $700,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"   The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied,   "First, did your research also show that my mother … [Read more...]

    Two Men by Pillars      Following a poor first-half year performance the board of Company X tasked a senior manager to investigate what was happening on the factory floor, since the directors believed poor productivity was at the root of the problem. While walking around the plant, the investigating manager came upon a large warehouse area where a man stood next to a pillar.   The manager introduced himself as the person investigating performance on the factory floor, appointed … [Read more...]

    Dad will Never Say        Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say       10. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain "up yours" attitude ... I like that. 7. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car -- GO CRAZY. 6. What do you mean you wanna play football? … [Read more...]

    ~~~Oliver Cromwell~~~ ' Trust but Verify '      While preparing to cross a river to attack the enemy one day, Oliver Cromwell stopped and turned to address his troops...     "Put your trust in God," he famously declared,  "but mind you, keep your powder dry."     … [Read more...]

    One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God. "Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the problem, Eve?" "Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy." "Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above. "Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples." "Well Eve, in that case, I have a solution. "I shall create a man for you." "What's a man, Lord?" "This … [Read more...]

            Men, represented by the planet Mars (the God of War) have since the beginning of time, thought of Conflict and Fighting, as a SPORT.             Women,     represented by Venus (Goddess of Love) have always  thought of Conflict and Fighting, as a LAST RESORT.     WHO do You think should be the Negotiators of WORLD PEACE?     Tee! Hee! Hee! … [Read more...]