Why Marriage Counseling Isn’t Just for Marriages in Crisis

Marriage counseling is something that a lot of people have benefited from doing, however it is also something that for many carries a bit of a stigma. Some people don’t consider counseling at all, because they think of it as a last resort thing for couples with severe problems, and that it is not something they currently need because their relationship is fairly good. Others suspect that the problems they do have could be helped by attending sessions, but feel like going to counseling would be like announcing, even between themselves, that their marriage was in crisis.

However, marriage counseling, whether it is visiting a trained therapist, or seeking out a marriage counseling online service, can benefit even couples whose relationship is secure and happy.

Relationship Fitness

If we take the analogy of a relationship being like your body, then of course there are all kinds of levels of fitness you can have. Many people think of counseling for couples as being like having some important surgery to help save the body, but in fact it is better to liken it to going to the gym. A fit, healthy person can benefit from going to the gym to become even stronger and perform even better.

A mildly unfit person can benefit too, but it’ll take more work. Someone who is extremely unfit can still get there, but will take more time still. In counseling, it will be the same – everyone can achieve improvements, but what you need to work on and how much depends on your starting condition.

Being the Best You Can Be Together

Continuing the fitness metaphor, if a fairly healthy person decides to rest on their laurels, they may never become as healthy as they could have been, and over time, minor setbacks will mount up. They could find themselves in an unfit condition, and wonder how they got there. Of course, healthy people don’t die because they don’t work on their fitness, but they do deteriorate and don’t achieve their very best. Healthy relationships are the same – they may not be at risk like unhealthy ones, but some work can help them stay strong and become even more fulfilling.

Being Open to Work

Of course, when you see a fit, healthy person, you always assume they got some help to become that way, and it is the same for a stable, strong relationship. Many of the best couples have had some help with how they communicate, or to get them over major changes in their lives (such as having children) while keeping them well connected with each other. The difference with these couples is that they were open to looking for solutions as soon as they met with challenges, and appreciated that there was no reason to be any less than happy.

Counseling isn’t the solution for every couple to get stronger, just as a gym isn’t the only way to get fitter, but it is important to know that it shouldn’t be something you see as a final effort to save a failing marriage, but as a resource that can help your relationship be its best even when things are fine.

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