The Secret of Letting Go
by Larry James
Letting go of people and behavioral patterns that no longer serve us often feels as though we are risking our safety and comfort.
Calculated risks taken for the benefit of our own well being are worth taking. This form of movement is safer than standing still. Those who remain stationary become an easy target for misery of their own creation.
The energy we expend by holding on often leaves us drained and with a feeling of hopelessness.
It takes no strength to let go; only courage. Courage is a byproduct of a positive self-image.
How do you know when it’s time to let go. Two broken people cannot fix each other. You know the relationship is over when one partner “refuses” to work on the relationship. One cannot do the work of two.
Focus on what you learned from the relationship and have no regrets. Lessons learned will stay with you. Sometimes the hard part is to promise yourself that you will never again allow yourself to make the same mistake again and keep your word.
Forgiveness plays an important part in the process of letting go. There is nothing that cannot be forgiven. It is always and only a personal choice. Forgiveness is not for them. It’s for YOU! It has a healing effect and hastens closure. It allows you the freedom to release the attachment you once had and move on. The hurt won’t heal until you forgive. Your future happiness will be free to express itself more openly and spontaneously when you can forgive yourself and forgive others, with no concern about whether they or you deserve it.
“Letting go is a journey peppered with steps forward and steps backward, good days and bad days, peaks and valleys.” ~ Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
Some may feel like they have lost a piece of their heart when say goodbye to someone they love. That’s normal. Grieve for awhile and someday you may notice that you are not even thinking about your past relationship and are actually getting down to the business of living your life.
Please don’t even think about getting involved with anyone else until the hurts have healed. That may take some time. It takes time to heal.
Larry’s Note: This article was inspired by the work of my friend, Guy Finley, author of “The Secret of Letting Go.” Another good book to read is “Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends” by Dr. Bruce Fisher.
BONUS Article:How to Let Go of a Past Relationship: 10 Steps to Move On Peacefully Forgiveness… What’s it For? The 3 BIGGEST Mistakes Newly Singles Make and How to Avoid Them! An Affirmation for Letting Go
Copyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere.Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.
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The Secret of ‘Letting Go’, CelebrateLove.com
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